Amari Memento

Background

Duncan Bickle was one of my best friends through my freshman and sophomore year in high school. We bonded through our love for comedy, specifically Bo Burnham, computer games, and band. However, it was during a rehearsal at TMEAAll-Region Band that I heard he had committed suicide. This news blew me back and shattered my heart. I felt lost and alone; and while my friends tried to comfort me, nothing could fill that void. I fell into a dark place mentally and never recovered until I got midway through my freshman year of college. It was then I discovered my love for music and its ability to heal our deepest wounds. Performing and creating music was something that brought me happiness I hadn’t felt since Duncan passed. I have never been good at speeches or “saying the right thing” but music was something that came from the soul and was very personal. I could create a whole world with just my music. It wasn’t until after freshman year I felt confident enough to start small composition/arrangement projects to grow my skills. Now a year later, I am able to create a world that captures my memories of who Duncan Buckle was to me.

Program Note 

“Amare Memento” is Latin for “In loving Memory.” I coined this off of the Latin phrase, “e vita vero abiit, haudquaquam e memoria,” which roughly means “Gone but not forgotten.” This piece opens up with energy and excitement, laying the  foundations for Duncan and myself’s personalities. Trombone A1 (personality of Reuben) leads off with a melody inspired by Bo Burnham’s “Repeat Stuff” being extra energetic and having a lot to say. A1 is also accompanied by choir A with a clave/jazzy style rhythm inspired by Timothy Gondola’s transcription of, “Sunny.” Later on, Trombone B1 (personality of Duncan) comes in with its own section which moves the piece into Duncan's personality by having more open rhythmic notation and a simple melody inspired again by Bo Burnham's, “White Women’s Instagram.” It then goes back to choir A diving deeper into Reuben’s personality, seeing more themes and variations. Following the form, choir B takes over Duncan's personality, adding more depth and character to him. Both choirs then band together and form a unified choir and combined melody of the two friends. This shows the connection our friendship had and how happy it was no matter how much it changes, dictated by the modulations. However, it does not last as something different arrives. When receiving news about Duncan, only half of each choir is playing. While it starts off happy it quickly grows darker. The whole choir joins in and creates a heavy beating heart. The melody continues in trombones A3 and B3 growing heavier and heavier until it shatters and is taken over by the top trombones A and B, 1 and 2. voices. This new melody is a broken form of the previous and is accompanied by both bass trombones doing a persistent beating heart that endlessly grows. Finally, all the build-up shatters and goes into chaos as the music is torn apart. The music tries to pick itself back up by the next group but ends up falling and collapsing again until the whole ensemble is lost in a tumbling effect. This grows more distorted as each trombone comes in differently each measure until finally, it ends unresolved and broken. After the room clears and everything is silent, trombone A1 begins to speak. It is a melody taken from Han Zimmer’s, “The Burning Bush.” This melody is fragile and delicate as it sings alone and has no one anymore. Two more voices join in but are spread throughout the choir, creating a void. The piece moves into 3 different trombones that tell of loss, and pain, still trapped inside the void that gradually goes away from the key. Trombone A1 comes back but is not alone this time. “Friends and family” are there to guide and aid and not let the melody lose itself again. The melody then has to try and put itself back together and despite its efforts, it erupts in a final cry for help. A solo trombone, which plays a melody similar to Colm Wilkinson’s, “Bring Him Home.” has the final cry while the choir is in ultimate grief. The music then pulls back and there is an immediate calm. While Duncan may be gone, he is not forgotten. The melody is from Reuben's theme, and is played again but in peace. The piece finally closes in loving memory of Duncan Bickle.